Relaxing Into Unifying Presence
You believe in meditation; but it can drive you nuts! The more you strive for a transcendental experience, the more it eludes you. Yet there may be a way to relax into what lies at the heart of every spiritual tradition. May this post inspire you to engage more deeply, more easily — in your own way — with such Source Energy. This post is not about me, but hopefully about easing your relationship with Wholeness. Forewarning: this post comes from the depths of my recent soul initiations … and is deep — with light touches and joy sprinkled in 🙂
CONTEXT: Contemporary Zen teacher Adyshanti as our jumping off point:
I have been a student in Adyshanti’s 8-week Online Retreat on “Experiencing Divine Ground.” He is a contemporary teacher from the Zen Buddhist tradition. I like him because he transcends even his own Zen lineage, and can speak in universal terms about the heart of all spiritual experiences. He uses the term “Divine Ground” for the heart of all spiritual experiences, although he uses many terms for this (see below).
Ady talks about the classic interpretation in many spiritual traditions of experiencing the Divine Ground as “the annihilation of the self.” But he feels that is too extreme of a view — it makes most of our experiences of this Numinous Mystery seem picayune.
Instead, he frequently compares experiencing the Divine to waking up from a night dream — suddenly what has been experienced as very real ceases…while the “more real” perspective of daytime ensues.
You like “God”; Peter likes “True Nature”; Melissa likes “Absolute Love.” All of this is what I mean below. My personal favorite term is “Unifying Presence” (because it paradoxically combines the transcendental (Unifying) with the immanent (Presence). To those of you that know me, you know I am passionate about living the “Paradox of Wholeness.”)
Different Ways to Experience Unifying Presence:
While I could understand his dream analogy, I could not find my own experience here. Which prompted me to the challenge: can I describe how I experience the Unifying Presence??!! … Can you??!!
Below I play with words of my own experience of the Unifying Presence.
This is where I invite you to compare and contrast your own experience with mine. Not which is better; which is more proper — but to inspire you to relax into greater clarity of your unique version of experiencing Unifying Presence.
I make this attempt below, with the humility of the Tao Te Ching — which says “the Tao described in words is not the real Tao. Words cannot describe it. Nameless is the source of creation.
When I slip through the knot of my usual thinking — in Nature, mindfulness, meditation, Joy, etc. — I can relax into a teeming, buzzing presence or field of energy. If I ride on this energy, it seems to flow throughout all time and space. More than that, IT pervades everything.
As it pervades everything, it unifies everything — the Unifying Presence.
Wherever my awareness alights — IT pervades that. IT pervades form and formlessness, fullness and emptiness, movement and stillness, sound and silence.
This Unifying Presence is primordial. It is what remains if you subtract everything.
“Field” is a good word because it connotes fecundity and fertility. A field is where things grow — seemingly out of nothing, poof! A field is where special forces and elements converge to yield growth (very different from a patch of concrete, for example).
“Field” is not such a good word because a field has a form, a location, a shape — and the Unifying Presence pervades beyond these.
Gratefully, “I” am included in this “pervades everything,” “unifies everything.”
I experience everything, including myself, as Russian dolls within Russian dolls — this primordial energy that pervades everything includes my so-called self, my so-called body, which in turn is being permeated, penetrated and filled with the substance of this Unifying field.
IT goes right through my skin… in both directions… in all directions…IT is spherical.
There are distinctions, but no hard demarcations.
Relaxing into this experience, I can zoom in, or out, or around, or through — and it’s all the same continuum of primordial quantum energy, in different forms and formlessnesses — in different scintillation — including the so-called self.
Bottomline: In this vast timeless primordial Unifying Presence, I experienced all that is, including “myself,” as a continuum.
When Experience Morphs Into Being: As my awareness zooms in, or out, or around, or through, or beyond, this so-called “I” zooming about IS all of this.
Paradoxically, my “self” is not obliterated in this experience — but simply expanded into this more all-encompassing experience. It is not “annihilated.”
Yes, my typical identity loses all of its typical orientations — I am no longer a Frederic, or a body, or a person, or have a purpose … but “I” become … or am … the fundamental substance//divine ground//source energy//Unifying Presence which allows ALL of these things to arise in our three-dimensional realm.
And paradoxically, I am able to be both myself … and the selflessness … of myself.
I am not “one,” … and I am not “two.”
It is not non-duality, and it’s not duality.
Rather, both are mixed together in this very rich concoction (that transcends all non-dual teachings that I’ve heard).
Not many teachers talk about this dynamic interpenetration of the dual and non-dual realms (Adyshanti and Almaas do). Totality includes both the non-dual and the dual realms. “The One” or “Oneness” is only one aspect of the Unifying Presence!
A beautiful thing! This experience of the Unifying Presence has carryover into my ordinary, 3-D world
I do feel less separate. No question about it.
This is an amazing thing. It is growing stronger each week as I practice.
I feel less judgmental, less different from other people, and the life itself that’s happening all around me. Less separate from that “ugly,” “crappy” RV parked in the Walmart parking lot next to mine.
Or I can catch myself “unelightening myself” (as Adyshanti calls it 🙂 through judgement and separation. I can remember my being the UNifying Presence. Poof! Ego and separation gone.
There is a sense in which “I” am pervading all of this as well … just as in turn, the Unifying Presence is pervading all of this, and me.
“I” am the Unifying Presence in all of its forms arising, and forms dissolves, as a continuum in this same presence of primordial energy. When I am in this awareness, I feel peaceful joy … even in the midst of the gnarliest of life situations.
Important caveat: my attempt to put all this into words is probably fool-hardy, if not foolish :). The I-Ching says that Source can not be named! Plus, I have NOT focused on the qualities of the Unifying Presence — like Love, Compassion, Freedom. Nor have I written about feeling a personal connection with this, like many Christians feel when they experience God, the Father (or God, the Mother). So much more to post about 🙂
As you read this, lightly or deeply:
- Did you get some clarity on your own version of experiencing the Unifying Presence (or whatever your favorite term)?
- Can you relax into your own depth of experience, without feeling you have to “do it like someone did?”
- Did you notice any “messages” from your soul (like, “yes, dang it, I gotta get back to my mediations 🙂)
- Would you be willing to follow these inner prompting… why or why not?
- Any minor or major “A-HAs” that you want to integrate (write down, journal on, speak into your iphone notes, share with others)?
If someone comes to mind who would enjoy reading this too, would you send it to them?
I feel blessed to have put some of this in words for myself, and hopefully to have inspired you to be more curious about your connection with Source Energy
Frederic
P.S. Wilderness, mindfulness, and joy are zones where it is easier to relax into this Wholeness. We have created a retreat called Wilderness + Mindfulness + Joy to play in this. Believe me: this retreat will not be as heavy and deep as this post :)…. It is only 45 mins from Boulder, only 4 days/3 nights, only $230 base price … capped at 18 joyful folks for intimate community … and you get your own private room in a renovated 1930’s mountain lodge, in a spectacular wilderness setting, with two co-facilitators. This will sell out, so to learn more, Retreat Sep ’19